Posted by: jeannineatkins | January 2, 2009

Shy Dreams

I was a shy girl and I didn’t really lose it until I had to stand in front of seventh and eighth graders. I remember the moment of wondering, aghast: what made me think it was a good idea to become a teacher? Quickly followed by: you’d better say something, or this class is lost.

That was decades ago and I no longer think of myself as timid. But while I can speak in public, have I really lost that quiet and scared girl? A few days ago Melodye newport2newport posted a picture of a fortune telling eight ball, like one I used to covet, and generously offered to pose questions for us. I felt scared. What if the answer was awful? I did ask a question, and true to my nature, the eight ball stuck in a qualifier, but the answer was good. Melodye suggested this was some reward for pushing beyond my boundaries to ask, and that bravery might be our theme for 2009.

Today Jo jbknowles posted about some of her dreams for the new year and her uneasy but brave efforts to make them bigger. I know that feeling. We don’t want to annoy any listening spirits, be they good or evil, who might want to knock us down if we sound greedy for things like happiness, or having more people hear our voices.

It’s hard to display our hopes and make them look big and fabulous and like we mean it. But why not? Wishing you BIG dreams for 2009.

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Responses

  1. BIG BIG DREAMS for you!! Happy New Year!!!

  2. “It’s hard to display our hopes and make them look big and fabulous and like we mean it.”
    Oh boy do I know that feeling. (as well as the one of the shy little girl. Haven’t lost that one yet.)
    For me the thought of posting those dreams, those goals, those wishes I wish on the first star, means thinking I am worthy of having them come true. If I share them, there is always the threat that someone else might come along and say that I am not worthy and that is, of course, devastating.
    I live a lot on hope.
    When my daughter doesn’t call me for weeks on end I live on the hope that all is well in her world.
    When my son calls me regularly, every few days, I live on the hope that all is well in his world.
    When someone gives me a compliment on my writing, I can write for days, weeks even, depending on how much they said.

  3. You had great steps toward you in 2008. Let this year be one one bigger strides, and confidence in every direction!

  4. Looks like you dared to post some dreams. It is hard. But compliments are coming your way. Keep writing.

  5. Dreaming big is the same thing as daring to fail, which is why so few of us do it. At least, that’s what I’m thinking.

  6. Whoa, that’s deep. And it makes total sense.
    I’m not afraid of failure, and I’m brave enough to dream big. And I am grateful to be surrounded by others with similar mindsets. My LJ friends challenge and encourage me to live up to my aspirations, and I’m grateful.
    Happy New Year!!!!

  7. Kelly, I needed another piece of Christmas chocolate to get through that insight. I’ll try to contemplate it more without the sugar. Maybe Slatts can get that on a coffee mug?

  8. yes, brilliant Kelly and brilliant you. We are quite a group! Thanks for all your challenges and encouragement and for giving me a chance with the magic eight-ball!

  9. Any excuse for chocolate, I always say!

  10. Big dreams for you, too, my amazing friend.
    xo

  11. Thanks, Jo. 2009 will rock!


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